Classic Moments of TV Football Comedy

No.1 The Fast Show - Ron Manager.

Football wisdom Ron Manager style, with some classic football quotes and phrases.... Ryan Giggsy Wiggsy. Jiggery Pokery. Jumpers for goalposts etc. Brilliant.

No.2 Ripping Yarns - Golden Gordon.

"Eight-one! Eight boody-one!". Michael Palin at his very best as Gordon Ottershaw, a die-hard football fan in the 1930s who supports Barnstoneworth Utd, a team that hasn't won a match for six years.

No.3 The Day Today - Alan Partridge

Alan Partridge's Countdown to World Cup '94, from the BBC's The Day Today show, introduced us to yet more great new football phrases, including "Eat my goal!", "Liquid football" and the brilliant "He must have a foot like a traction engine.". Oh yes, and "Striker!".

Partridge would go on to be the star of many great comedy shows, but this still remains one of his most memorable pieces of work.

No.4 Harry Enfield's Television Programme

Arsenal 1933 v Liverpool 1991.

Featuring Mr Cholmondley-Warner, chain-smoking players, a tricky winger, and a new entry to the greatest goalmouth scrambles as the entire Arsenal team charge en-masse into the Liverpool penalty area. Brilliant stuff.

No.5 The Likely Lads - No Hiding Place.

Classic episode from 1973 as Terry and Bob try to avoid the England vs Bulgaria score for an entire day so that they can watch the match on TV later, whilst the brilliant Brian Glover does his best to spoil their surprise.

No.6 Monty Python

Bournemouth Gynecologists v Watford Long John Silver Impersonators.

Surreal comedy at its best with this sketch from episode 23 of Monty Python's Flying Circus, back in 1970. The gynecologists run riot against a completely stationary team of Long John Silver impersonators.

Long John Silver Impersonators: Football sketch. from Flammulatus Cummerbund on Vimeo.

No.7 Father Ted

All-Priests 5-a-side Over-75s Indoor Challenge.

So many great episodes during its three series, and this one, Escape From Victory, was no exception. Lead by a management team of Father Ted and Dougal, Craggy Island competes against rivals Rugged Island in their annual match. Things don't look good for Ted after Jack, his player, drinks an entire bottle of Dreamy Sleepy Nightie Snoozy Snooze, whilst his rivals manage to bring in the legendary Italian journeyman, Father Romeo Sensini.

No.8 Monty Python

Philosophers' Football Match, Germany v Greece.

Another piece of classic football surrealism from the Python team, this time from their 1972 German TV special, Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus. Filmed on location in Munich's Gr├╝nwalder Stadion, the match features the likes of Georg "Nobby" Hegel, Friedrich Nietzsche, Socrates, Plato and "Chopper" Sophocles.


No.9 Fantasy Football League

Phoenix From The Flames with legendary Portuguese striker Eusebio.

No.10 The Simpsons - The Cartridge Family.

Homer takes in a soccer match. A very boring match between Mexico and Portugal.